Inter Outer Mongolia

Before beginning our adventures in Mongolia we negotiated another train journey(a mere 2 days) from Irkutsk to Ulaanbaator (the capital of Mongolia) ; a journey notable only for the tedium of a 10 hour border crossing in the stifling, wasp-infested heat.

As usual, we were met at the train station by some dude in leathers and bundled into the back of a sports car with darkened windows, pumping out the latest Mongolian dance hits. Our destination was UB Guesthouse - a friendly, chaotic place, bursting at the seams with travellers from all over the world. Here we were teamed up with 2 Dutch guys, an antique Russian van and a Mongolian driver, for a 9 day trip into the wilds of the Gobi desert.

Otto(30) - rally driver and mechanic; known to consume the occasional fermented mare's milk or twelve.
Geert(24) - witty, relaxed, laid-back, chilled-out snuff-meister.
Yosh(21) - motorbike stuntman with a serious egg fetish.



As our motely crew set off to the strains of Kung Fu fighting on the tranny, Otto high-kicked and karate-chopped his way through the rush hour traffic with gay disregard for standard road etiquette. An hour later - having cleared the polluted air of UB - the van was nose up in a ditch with smoke pouring out of the engine, as wild horses looking on inquisitively. Such breakdowns were to become a recurring theme of the trip, as we were afflicted with suspension problems, brake failure, flat tyres and numerous petrol/oil shortages. Luckily Otto was a skilled mechanic, able to fix most van related problems with a piece of metal piping and brute force.

An average day "on tour" consisted of around 5 hours driving over dusty, hard, potholed non-roads, with occasional stops to visit a ruined temple/monastery/archaelogical site, admire the scenery or take photos of the indigineous wildlife; horses, goats, sheep, camels, gazelles, yaks, wolves, assorted rodents, lizards, snakes, spiders, birds of prey, vultures, rhinos etc. Every night we would either pitch the tents or stay in a ger and eat mutton delights dished up by the local family.


It's impossible to describe all the "experiences" we experienced during the Gobi-experience. Here's our top 3:

Plopping in at number 3 - 'Burning Shit'
A few nights were spent in the company of another van-load of nutters. Whenever possible, as night fell, a couple of intrepid volunteers would head out into the desert to find and collect a shit-load of dried camel shit, which would subsequently be used to construct a traditional Mongolian campfire. We would sit round the fire till the wee small hours drinking pints of camel urine and shots of lizard mucous (ok, it was really beer and vodka)

Climbing to number 2 - 'Sunrise over the dunes'
Having spent the night quite literally camped amongst the sand dunes, we rose early to climb the highest, pointiest sand dune we could find. From here - as camels strolled by far below - we watched the sun rise slowly over the sand. Magical.

Straight in (and out again) at number 1 - 'Mongolian Hospitality'
Haven driven offroad for an entire morning, Otto eventually found the nomadic family he was looking for. Through one of our frequent miscommunications we proceeded to eat a hearty lunch in the van, only to be invited into the ger for lunch shortly after. Here we were treated to a nauseating feast of sour goat/horse/sheep yoghurt with sugar, large chunks of salty goat/horse/sheep cheese, lamb ribs, fresh mares milk, snuff and vodka. To finish us off, we were each cajoled into downing a large bowl of distilled, fermented mare's milk (apparently designed to settle the stomach!). All of this provided much hilarity for the family and much unwanted activity in our stomachs. The rest of the day was a bit of a haze, but I have vague memories of stumbling through the desert trying to take photos of lizards sitting on camel shit.......










Cribbage Update: Jools takes control, Jools 6 Kev 4