Puerto-Montt-to-Puerto-Natales Cake

Ingredients

1 old cargo ship
2 dozen bunk beds

1 cluster of assorted furniture
1 Norn Irish, 1 Scot, 3 English, 1 French, 1 US, 1 Thai, 1 Hong Kongese
1 infamously rough sea-crossing
3 big stodgy meals per day
Gallons of pristine fjords, mountains and forests
A sprinking of seals, whales and dolphins
1 beautiful sunset
1 box of cheap wine
1 pack of cards
1 curious French grab-a-stick game

Cooking Instructions

Take one old cargo ship and add 2 dozen bunk beds and a cluster of assorted furniture. Gently stir in 1 Norn Irish, 1 Scot, 3 English, 1 French, 1 US, 1 Thai and 1 Hong Kongese whilst slowly adding the contents of 1 box of wine, a pack of cards and a curious French grab-a-stick game until thoroughly steamed and pickled - producing an unhealthy excess of bad chat. Stick the bad chat through a sieve, add gallons of pristine fjords, mountains and forests and fold in 1 beautiful sunset to give a contented rosy glow.

Marinade the Northern Irish for 1 day using 3 stodgy meals, and combine with an infamously rough sea-crossing until left with a white lumpy substance which mysteriously (despite none being added) contains diced carrots.

Season with winter, add whales, dolphins and seals to taste, and cook on a low heat (0 degrees or less) for 3 and a half days until thoroughly browned off.

Serve cold, garnished with Chile.